From my guest blogger, Cindy  aka Ms. Sassy who as of January 2012 is also my client coordinator.. (YAY!)

Sassy | holidays

Hello! Long time no blog… the holidays were super busy for the Sassy’s and I’ve had a hard time getting “back into the groove” of daily life but I’m getting there!

This topic of the holidays is a hard one for me and Mr. Sassy…as I assume it is for any newer relationship trying to figure out how to split up holiday time. This past Christmas was only the second one that Mr. Sassy and I spent together. He is incredibly close to his family. I, on the other hand, am not. I have a very “abnormal family”, to say the least. The Mr. grew up with both of his parents and siblings and they are all still happily married. My parents divorced when I was 7 and I grew up with my dad. I am used to splitting my “holiday time” with my mom and other family members at places because of that. Mr. Sassy is used to spending every Christmas with his mom and dad, same house, same family…no traveling here and there. We had completely different upbringings.

The last time I remember celebrating a proper Christmas was when I was 12, after my step mom moved out of the house. My dad wasn’t into the whole “Christmas” thing… so there were no trees or decorations; no presents… it became quite the non event to be honest. All this caused me to look at holidays in total different light… I don’t want to say they aren’t important to me, but I just don’t view them the same as Mr. Sassy (and probably many others). My dad and best friend passed away in 1999, when I was 23. My mom…well I don’t know how to explain our relationship other than to say it’s a work in process every day.  As an adult, and not really having a family unit, I learned to depend on my friends who opened their arms and welcomed me into their homes for a holiday dinner or time together. The fact that I have many people I consider family is a hard one for Mr. Sassy to understand. It also makes trying to figure out who and where to spend Christmas very difficult!

He doesn’t want to spend any less time with his family and rightly so. I don’t want to not spend time with my loved ones…I feel like I’m turning my back on those that have always been there for me and it’s really really hard for me to accept that I’m not (and that they really do understand…because they are awesome like that!). My “family” is a 2 hour drive away…his family is all within a 10 mile radius so it makes sense that spending a lot of time with his family is the easiest thing to do…but is easy the right thing??

 In addition to wanting to spend time with family and loved ones, it was insanely important to me that Mr. and I got some “one on one” time at Christmas. We are starting our own, new family. We need that time together to bond and grow. We also didn’t want to hurt anyone…enter the struggle on what to do but yet be true to yourself. So this year, Mr. Sassy and I asked to change things up a bit and celebrate Christmas with his immediate family on Christmas Eve (instead of Christmas morning)…to open presents and have a relaxing dinner of pizza after church. It was wonderful!! We really had a great time! Then we spent Christmas morning with each other and made a delicious breakfast, opened presents and were completely lazy. We caught back up with his mom and dad later in the day to open presents with the extended family. After that, we went to a late dinner with his Aunt and Uncle. I agreed that I would spend a day with my “family” in January. That was our compromise this year. I’m not sure if that’s how it will continue to be in the future as I really missed my friends this year. I will forever be thankful for those that opened their heart and homes to me and for teaching me what the true meaning of holiday love is.

So Mr. Sassy and I are trying to figure out what works for us. How did you navigate through the holidays as a new couple? How were you able to combine families without hurting anyone? How were any changes accepted (or not) once you became engaged?